So, I've stepped back from blogging for the past, oh I don't know, almost 2 years?! It hasn't been laziness or lack of motivation (desire though, I'd say); it's been more of... identity or dislike of identity rather. I kinda loathe (ha, that's an oxymoron) the connotation of blogging. Everyone and their mom has a blog. And, now that I actually am a mom (life update! ha), now there's the mom-rant blogger connotation in addition to the try-hard fashion bloggers, the make-your-life-look-better-than-it-is bloggers, the anti-vaccine-do-everything-with-oils bloggers (don't even get me started people), the people-who-are-awful-writers-and-can't-spell bloggers (you make my skin crawl)... I just didn't want to be lumped in any category.
I blog(ged) because I want(ed) to share things that I love, products that have made my life easier, ramblings, creative things... whatever I feel like. I don't blog because I think I'm awesome or want the affirmation of others, or for some sort of status. I just wanna do what I want, when I want, without other people chiming in or judging from afar. But yes, ok, I realize that's impossible! Maybe I'm worried about that though because I do that to others......... BOOM I said it. I'm judging you, other blogger! Sorry! I'm not a meany, but I am human... We all do it, so don't even act like you don't. Hey young 20-something try-hard fashion blogger with the instagrid you OBSESS over... I'm judging you, but I'm also inspired by you and am secretly proud of you for just doing you. It's a weird line, guys, between the judging and admiring for me, and some days I land on one side, and other days I land on the other side.
So... that's where I'm at. It boils down to control - I want to control what other people perceive about me. I want people to know me before they assume what I'm like - being misunderstood is maybe the worst thing in the world to me. It kills my soul to feel like someone thinks something of me that isn't true. Sigh, adulting is hard, guys.
So that's where I'm at. Moving forward, if I feel inspired to write a post, I'm gonna write it! I'm going to stop obsessing over this crisis of the mind I've been having and start being more like the 20-something (who am I kidding, almost THIRTY-SOMETHING) mama who is just doing her thing, not caring about meanies like me judging her.
Let's do this, y'all.
Hi! I’m Cait - wife to Logan, mama to Maggie and cuddler to Gatsby in Minneapolis, MN. You'll hear rants about baby gear, motherhood, bargain shopping and home decor if you stick around here long enough. Thanks for stopping by!